Pretty Snarky

I hate being cold and spend the entire winter longing for hot summer days. Then right around June 15th, I remember all the things that I’m afraid of:

*bee stings (I’ve never been stung and live in fear that I’m one of those people who are allergic and will die if I don’t have an epinephrine pen…which I don’t)

*bathing suits (I don’t like the one-pieces that look like I’m acting like I think I’m an Olympian; I don’t like the one-pieces that have all the crazy cut-outs simply for SPF application issues; I don’t like bikinis for belly fat issues. I just want to be left alone in my MuMu)

*invitations to parties that turn out to be at a lake house with water-skiing (when I water-ski, it’s more of me being dragged on my face behind a boat, which I’m pretty sure is not the right way to do it.)

*ticks (lyme disease)

*mosquitos (west nile virus)

*drinking white wine in the sun (it just feels like the appropriate beverage, but always gives me a headache before knocking me unconscious or rendering me unable to finish even the smallest task, like walking to my bed…it’s too far, just leave me here on the front porch til morning)

Sometimes I worry that I’m passing these fears onto the dog, and he should get to enjoy the summer rather than watching it from behind glass, right? At least I think that’s what he’s trying to say…

To your health!

- Jen