I wish this was a riddle (but it’s a true life dilemma)
In Colorado 6 cows wandered away from their herd during a snowstorm. They went into a forest service cabin and froze to death…
How do you get them out before they begin to thaw, decay and poison the nearby water sources?
*this picture is NOT of an actual frozen cow in a cabin (just a visual aid)
Blow the cabin up or burn it down? – no, too dangerous and could scar the land
Haul them out with trucks? - no, trucks are prohibited in this area
Haul them out with helicopters? – no, too expensive for their budget
My suggestion is to go all Dexter on this thing and chainsaw them up. I know it’s macabre and all that, but it’s super cheap. The only thing I don’t know is if chainsaws can cut through frozen cow.
Come on you guys, we have a lot of brain power between us. Let’s solve this thing!
- Jen
April 18th, 2012 at 9:58 am
One thing we know for sure… don’t do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79tl2H3QzT0&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1&safe=active
April 18th, 2012 at 10:02 am
And here’s my actual suggestion: Seal the door, fill the cabin with water, and drop in a bunch of piranhas… since you always hear about how they can skeletonize a cow in under a minute!
April 18th, 2012 at 11:24 am
Step 1: Blow dryers. Many, many blow dryers. Also probably a generator, right?
Step 2: Chainsaws.
You’re right that it’s slightly macabre, but I don’t think it’s hugely different from the way countless non-frozen bovines are cut up every day (can you tell I’m a vegetarian?)
April 18th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Hey Jen,
So a horse died on a trail last summer in Washington. I knew they we’re sure what to do. But the options were the same…Maybe if we find out what worked then we can apply the same strategy. Here’s the link http://www.wta.org/go-hiking/trip-reports/trip_report.2011-08-28.5122622499
April 18th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Dexter’s method would be better than the way Walt and Jesse dispose of bodies for sure!
April 19th, 2012 at 8:47 am
I think the chainsaw idea is the best. I know they have mobile butcher vans that will go to farms and butcher animals into sellable cuts of meat. Call one of those.